HELL-BENT ON FULFILLING THE PROPHECY (OF 3rd DIVORCE) LETTER 12 – CARENCRO, LOUISIANA
Dear Mr. Lee,
This past weekend my husband read your book, The Flying Boy after I completed it several days before. My husband is 49-1/2 yrs. Old; I am 42 years old. We’ve both been married twice before, and at the present rate, working on divorce number three. Neither wants it, but we are “hell-bent” on fulfilling the prophecy.
Without boring you with the details, I came from a mad, raging alcoholic family, my father being the alcoholic and my mother the sick neurotic, mad and angry spouse. Today, my brother is an alcoholic in his third marriage and in such denial, he believes he can still control his world with control and anger.
I’m not an alcoholic but this statement doesn’t warrant any acclamation. The one person I promised I’d never be like was my mother. Well, you know “the rest of the story,” to quote Paul Harvey. Today I’m in therapy with a long, long way to go, but I’ve made the decision to begin the journey to recovery, even though it has been so extremely painful.
My husband has fought to change much harder. He is no doubt the angriest male I’ve ever encountered, but I know today I looked very hard to find him. Our relationship is no accident! He comes from an extremely dysfunctional family, no alcohol but anger that’s been handed down for generations and a lot of sexual deviancies.
I’m giving you a brief history so as to tell you the purpose of this letter. I’ve got hundreds of books on topics on chemical and drug dependency, codependency, self-help, etc., and your book is by far the most powerful one I’ve read to date. It was written for me. But the most powerful thing of it is my husband Ken read your book without putting it down and cried. He opened up and started talking about his childhood, father and feelings, which is new behavior for him. I wanted to rescue him and recognized my old behavior in time.
My husband, for the first time in his life has asked for help. He asked me to write you and get brochures or information on your programs in Austin. You’re probably thinking by my writing you for him I’m still taking care of him and you’re probably right. But at this point in my life it’s not so much a question of the right or wrong, but what works or doesn’t work. I felt troubled do this for him and also that one doesn’t get well overnight, which I don’t believe there is a state in the sense of “well.” I’m just struggling like so many I know. It’s a journey, not a destination. Thanks for listening and caring.
Thanks also for passing by in this life.
Hell-bent on Fulfilling the Prophecy
Dear Hell-bent on Fulfilling the Prophecy (of 3rd Divorce),