In the video “Harville Hendrix Try This At Home,” presented by BetterListen & WisdomFeed, Harville Hendrix offers a simple but powerful invitation: notice the energy you bring into any room, and choose to make it positive. What follows are the ideas, stories, and practical steps he shares — written in his warm, conversational style so you can try them the next time you leave your front door.
Why “center of energy” matters
We tend to think of ourselves as bodies that move through a world of objects and other people. Harville flips that on its head: we are locations of energy. The physical body is the form, but what animates it and connects it to others is energy — and that energy radiates outward.
“We are all centers of energy.”
When you lower your energy — when you’re closed off, distracted, or carrying a bad mood — the field around you dims. When you amplify positive energy, it radiates, and other people pick it up because they already have that potential inside them.
Real-life examples: shifting the room
Stories make the idea concrete. Harville shares two small, everyday examples that show how easily energy can be changed.
The dentist’s office
He describes an intake person who, at first, looked down and withdrawn because she’d had a rough morning. Within five to ten minutes, after receiving genuine appreciation and warmth, she “was glowing.” Other staff noticed the change, and within fifteen minutes the whole office felt different. Even the dentist — the guy about to work on his tooth — commented that the room felt different, and ended up laughing with them.
The restaurant experiment
Harville decided he wanted better service, so he made a small choice: when the waiter arrived he asked for the waiter’s name, then offered an affirmation. In one example he told a waiter named Matthew how meaningful his name was, tied it to a positive image, and made a lighthearted prediction about the evening. The waiter then showed up fully present: refills, attention, and warm service. Other servers also gravitated toward that energy.
“There’s no way for him to fail after that ’cause he wanted to come back to that center.”
How to create positive energy — practical steps
Harville’s approach is simple, authentic, and easily practiced. Here are the core moves you can use in any social situation.
- Notice and name: Ask for a person’s name and use it. That small act brings someone into relational contact.
- Acknowledge and affirm: Offer a genuine compliment or appreciation. Make it specific and believable.
- Hold an image of them well: Suggest a positive story or attribute about the person (light, playful, meaningful) that they can step into.
- Play and lighten: Humor or warmth can break a stuck mood — even a short laugh can reset the field.
- Keep it brief and sincere: You don’t need to fix everything. A few sincere sentences can reopen someone’s energy.
Mini script you can try
- Ask their name: “What’s your name?”
- Offer a small, true compliment: “What a great name — that’s the name of someone who did X.”
- Make a simple prediction rooted in positivity: “I can already tell this is going to be a great experience.”
- Follow up with gratitude: “Thanks — I appreciate how you’re helping me today.”
Why this is not selfish
It might sound self-serving to change a room so you feel better. Harville reframes it: creating a healthy environment is mutually beneficial. When you put positive energy into the field, you help others access their own warmth and competence. The result is a shared uplift — better service, a kinder interaction, and a bit more humanity in routine encounters.
Take responsibility for your environment
If you want to be in a nurturing, positive space, you don’t have to wait for others to do it for you. You can be the one who starts the change. Small, kind actions ripple outward faster than you think.
“If you want a healthy environment, create it.”
Conclusion — a small practice with big returns
We are, each of us, a location of energy. By choosing to radiate warmth, appreciation, and lightness in ordinary moments — the dentist’s office, a restaurant, a workplace hallway — you change not just your own experience but the collective atmosphere. Try the short script above the next time you interact with someone who seems closed off. Notice what happens. Chances are good you’ll end up changing the room.
Try it today: Ask one person their name, give a short, specific compliment, and see how the energy shifts. It takes less than a minute and could brighten an entire afternoon.
